Josiah’s Birth Story 4-8-11

04 May 2011 4 Comments

by melissapool in Uncategorized

Childbirth is the most humbling yet empowering experience I have ever had. This is Josiah’s birth story.

our midwives: Sarah, Vicky, & Judy

For a few nights before I went into labor (so we’ll say Monday) I had been having back contractions at night. They were regular but went away when I would get out of bed or take a bath. Two days (Wednesday) before labor I thought my water had broke. My midwife Vicky, checked me and said that it was probably my mucus plug and that it seemed my progress towards giving birth had gone backwards since my Monday check up. (I was still dilated 2 cm but my cervix was placed higher than before.) She even went so far as to say that labor in the next few days was unlikely and to prepare for a 41 week ultrasound the following week. I was heartbroken. It seemed as if this kid would never come out and my parents fly back to California with me still pregnant! I was not having it. So I took 3-4 oz of castor oil when I got home.  Mistake! I lived on the toilet for 24 hours with no signs of labor…

Vicki kept telling me that I should feel peaks in my contractions and how they will come from my back and work their way to the front of my uterus. I kept waiting for my back labor to do so. I had such a wretched  time sleeping Wednesday night between contractions, the effects of the castor oil, and just mentally wondering when I would go into labor. That night Nick began applying pressure on my back anytime my labor pains would wake him.

On Thursday I remembered reading in “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth” that labor is very much so a mental game. I realized that I didn’t feel as though my house was set up for our wee one. This could explain why my progress went backwards. The crib that was given to us was missing some critical components (we learned this Tuesday), I hadn’t signed up to be a Brio childbirth educator, and I was concerned that I didn’t know how to take care of a newborn.  I fixed all of these concerns Thursday. My parents bought us a lovely crib, I paid my fees to being training as a childbirth educator (which means my birth will count towards some requirements), and I discussed my concerns with my Mom about a newborn.

Thursday night Nick and I decided to sleep in the living room. I took the couch (more comfortable) and he laid a mattress next it for the best angle possible at applying pressure to my back. The first part of the night I was able to work through the contractions with a heating pad on my back and pressing against the back of the couch. Around 1 in the morning Nick had to help out. We decided to not time my contractions at this point because we assumed it was practice labor like the nights previously. At 4:30am I went to the restroom and found some “bloody show”. This was a sign to call Vicky. She instructed me to take some Benadryl. If that didn’t stop the contractions, then I was in labor. If I was able to fall asleep, I wasn’t. We had no Benadryl in the house. I had to wake my parents and send my Dad out to get some. Naturally, he got lost in the process since it was only their fourth day here! I finally took the Benadryl around 5:15am. 30 minutes later, my contractions were getting stronger (still only in my back) five minutes apart and averaging one minute long. I called Vicky to update her and she said the magical phrase, “Well, would you like to come to the birth center? This sounds like labor.” Praise God! All I could think about the whole evening was how if this wasn’t real labor there was no way I would be able to survive giving birth.

Final belly pic

We all (my parents, Nick, and I) arrived at the birth Center between 6:30 and 7am. I was 4 cm and almost fully effaced. Vicky left Nick and I alone to sleep (or try to), my Dad went to grab everyone breakfast, and I’m not sure what my Mom did. After about an hour I was too excited to sleep and gave up on the idea. We decided to walk around and did lots of “dancing” through contractions.

dancing through contractions

We decided that this truly was a bonding experience for us as a couple and it was bringing us even closer together. Around 10am I was checked again. 6cm! I felt like a pro. I was still managing my contractions well. Breathing through them and visualizing baby coming down. I thought, “If I continue to go like this we will have a baby before lunch!”

spent about an hour here

Nick and I continued dancing. I continued hating to use the restroom due to the intensity of the contractions. My parents continued to come in and out of the room. Slowly but surely the contractions started becoming unbearable. They were still only in my back. Nick was getting tired and couldn’t apply pressure to my back (Josiah’s head made a bump on my lower back which made knowing where to apply pressure quite easy for everyone) and asked my Dad to help. We labored for awhile with Nick supporting me emotionally and helping me to stand up while my Dad hit my back. On numerous contractions I freaked out. I couldn’t control my breathing. The pain overwhelmed me. I thought, “If I were in a hospital I would be asking for drugs at this point! I understand why women do it now. I’m thankful that I made a choice to not have it be an option though. Any woman to gives birth naturally in a hospital deserves a gold star. There is no way I could do this laying down and without all of this support.”

Our other midwife, Sarah, became a huge help during this time as well. There were times when my boys were using the restroom or just out of the room for whatever reason and she would apply pressure to my back and/or talk me through contractions. On numerous contractions when I would lose control Sarah was right there calming me down. Nick and I were amazed and grateful for the support she gave us.

Around lunch time I was 7 cm. Officially entering the dreaded transition phase of labor. I requested the use of the bathtub. Nick and I hopped in (maybe more like I waddled/fell in) and it felt amazing! My contractions stopped for 30 minutes or so. We napped.

zoning in the tub

Once contractions started back up again I felt I could manage them on my own at first. As time wore on I needed help again. We labored for about two hours in the tub. When I got out to be checked again the contractions were intense and unbearable all over again. Yet I was still 7cm. We weren’t sure if my water had broken in the tub. The bulge Vicky felt earlier was gone and I thought I felt a gush in the tub. We decided it would be best to labor outside the tub to help me progress. I laid on the bed for a bit to get the baby to turn into the best birthing position. Had a couple of breakdowns that Sarah talked me through. I cried. It hurt. I just wanted to be done! Surly, it was almost time to start pushing!

Around 3:30pm I was still 7 cm and the water bag bulge was back. I felt frustrated, defeated, and weak. My contractions were coming all the time. I couldn’t even be checked without one hitting me like a train. I began to wonder how long it was going to take. Before I went into labor I told myself I didn’t want my waters broken. I wanted my body to do its thing. But at this point Vicky said she truly believed that my waters were preventing the baby from dropping enough to finish dilating me. She asked me if I wanted my waters broken. Yes! Whatever will make this stop sooner. I screamed when she popped them. It was the strangest feeling to feel all of that fluid come out so quickly!

Immediately, my contractions felt different. They were more painful and felt like they took control of my entire torso. Twenty minutes later I asked what the urge to push felt like. They checked me and said I only had a little lip of my cervix left. Vicky said, “If you labor on the bed and lay down, during the next contraction I can try to get this lip out of the way.” We did. It did. It was the worst feeling I have ever had. I felt stuck on the bed. I desperately wanted to get up and move around. I begged, “Can I get up now?”

“Your baby is in a strange position and if you stay on the bed I can help it move out easier.”

“Okay.”

With Nick on my left and my Dad and Sarah on my right I pushed.

pushing

There was certainly something starting to come out. The pressure was intense and all I could think about was that glorious bathtub and how I wanted back in! I yelled with every push not because of the pain but because that’s just what happened. The midwives encouraged me to hold my breath in so that I used all of my energy in the pushing and not on the yelling. This was difficult. I tried my best and usually failed by the end of the contraction. With all of the pressure I was feeling I felt sure the head was almost out. It wasn’t. To help prevent tearing Vicky was putting compresses and oil to help me stretch during and between contractions. There was always this intense pain because of it. I almost wanted to ask her to stop but knew she was doing what was best for me. I kept  asking why it hurt so much and was told that was the “ring of fire”. This surprised me. I assumed the ring of fire would be a burning sensation. This just hurt!

I was asked to grab my knees and hold them near my head. With help from my Dad and Nick I mustered the energy to do so. More yelling. More pushing. More tears. They put me on oxygen to give me more strength. Finally, I heard, “the head is almost out!” Vicky started telling Nick to get ready to catch the baby. Oh glorious day! The pain will be over soon! A few more pushes and “push harder” from the midwives and I heard a screaming baby. I felt no pressure. My legs came down and I wanted a nap. But there was this screaming baby on my chest (where did that come from?!) wrapped in a towel. Vicky told us to open the towel and find out if we had a boy or girl. We peaked and smiled. Boy! He was adorable. Not a bloody mess like I expected. I held him and talked to him and we looked into each other’s eyes and I was overwhelmed with emotions. Nick said, “hello Josiah.” I asked if his middle name could really be Gale. “yes.” Nick took Josiah Gale while I pushed out the placenta – not nearly as painful as I thought. I couldn’t even tell when it came out. I needed stitches which I dreaded. My Dad held my hand as that process went on. Five stitches later I was ready to hold my little boy.

bonding

I was surprised and almost guilty at how I felt about him. I thought he was adorable but couldn’t grasp the reality of him being mine. I wasn’t filled with this overwhelming love for him. He was just a cute baby. It took a few hours for me to fall in love with him. But when I did, I fell hard and fall harder each and every day. And yes, I would do it again the exact same way.

going home

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